Letting go of worries and anxieties is something most of us would likely say we want to do. If only doing so were as easy as letting go of the steering wheel on a parked car. In that sense; meditation and mindfulness have as their aim to have us park the car of the mind in the present moment. Yet even for those who have a contemplative practice, thoughts are not something we can control as we might wish to.
We would like to be present; seeing what is here now and who we are now beyond thoughts and beliefs from our past mistakes and fears of future instability. We would like to let go of the fear of the future and regrets or mistakes from the past and yet, there they are still pervading through our thoughts.
Perhaps we seek liberation from our fear and worries through gurus and consuming more and more positive media as we look for that spark of inspiration which we hope will clue us into the truth-nuggets of enlightenment. Yet in-so-doing we perpetuate the yearning that may also be the cause of our suffering.
We are looking for something better, something of truth to apply to our lives. And so the actual transformation that is desired, a transformation that will bring us peace, is frustrated.
We are still seeking something in the future or something from someone else. We think that if we could only find this answer that we are seeking, then things would be better, who we are would be better. And so long as we think of finding peace and joy that is found by living fully now in the present, as something that we ourselves can do to bring about, we are caught in a perpetual longing for something that never really comes.
But then, we get this feeling. It is a feeling that there is something we’re missing but has actually been here all along. As though there were someone standing beside but always just beyond the corner of our eye’s ability to see.
This feeling dispels the previously prevailing feeling which was the cause of our fears and worries based in the past and future. It is a transformation of thoughts and our perspectives towards them. It transforms our thoughts from being a dominating force upon us and turns them into simple and useful tools that we can use for the benefits of life and relationship with one another.
And then there is another strange feeling. It is the feeling that I myself am not the one who is bringing this transformation about. All along I was thinking that if only I could find the answer I would achieve something incredible. And all along it was never me who really did any of this; rather, it happened because it is what is happening. It is what has always been happening. Liberation has always been right here now.
It is the same feeling that one gets when they are working on a project they are extremely passionate about, like when an artist is painting. One so involved with love for what they are doing can work for hours and hours and feel like they’ve exhausted little effort in the process. Whereas; if one works hard of their own effort, they grow quite tired and exhausted.
This is what I call Grace and it is not something that is contained by any specific concept or belief. Grace is always present right here in the present, and when we are there as it is always here, we find it.